Second Baby Registry

Dear Annabel Manners,

If a mom had a baby a year ago and got pregnant again when that baby was 8 weeks old, is it appropriate for her to register for gifts? How about putting where she is registered on an invite for a sip 'n see? The sip 'n see is for the second baby.

Thank you,
A

Dear A,

Wow! That sounds like a LOT for one mom to manage.

From an etiquette standpoint, there are several things to consider. Let's clarify two important terms:

A baby shower is a party for a new mother-to-be. It's thrown by her family or friends, and the whole purpose is to make sure she has what she needs to welcome and care for the baby. It's perfectly appropriate to register for gifts, though most people don't have showers the second time around.

A sip & see is a casual gathering (often hosted by a family member) whereupon friends are invited over to meet the baby. Lots of guests might bring a little something, but this party is not about gifts. (Click here to read an archived Annabel Manners post on how to host a sip & see.)

Your case is a little unique in that you have to double up on big-ticket items like car seats, high chairs and strollers. (Oh my!) I'm sure your friends and family will understand this, and some may even wish to pitch in on essentials. For this reason, I think it's OK to register, but you shouldn't expect the same type (or volume) of gifts you received when you were pregnant the first time.

Next, let's address the business of notification. You may disagree with me, but I don't believe in putting registry information on party invitations. Ever. I find it greedy and crass. This applies to both bridal and baby showers alike. If a guest wants to know where you're registered, she'll simply ask you or the hostess, or do a little online sleuthing to find out for herself.

Best of luck with your rapidly growing family!

Graciously yours,

ANNABEL MANNERS

Got an etiquette question? Send it to annabel@annabelmanners.com!