The Only Dress That Mattered

If there's one thing you can count on at the Golden Globes, it's visual noise. Sparkly headbands. Big red lips. All the trends, triumphs, and dubious choices that compete for our attention and focus.

And then there are defining moments in which someone shows up and yanks the red carpet out from underneath everyone else. Last night it was Angelina Jolie, who looked flawless (and fearsome) in Versace. Her expression said, "I am an incandescent, superhuman MOVIE STAR. The rest of you are merely playing for second."

A few stylistic observations:

• J'adore Charlize Theron, but I felt she was a shade too old for that gown. (Just a tad, just a sliver, just a smidge).



• By contrast, Lea Michelle dressed at least two decades beyond her years. She looked like an inveterate cruise ship performer.
  



• Not to be snide, but what was Real Housewife Kyle Richards even doing there?



• The ladies of Modern Family all looked amazing and appropriate, from sexpot Sofia Vegara to demure Julie Bowen.



• Emma Stone is a fashion all-star, but that color wasn't quite right for her.
  



• Julianne Moore in Chanel = YUM.



• Why so dour, Michelle Williams? You're cute as a button! (If you need a reminder, here she is looking fantastic in Jason Wu.) Lovely acceptance speech, though.



• Believe it or not, I liked Tilda Swinton's look. Yes, I'm aware of the 80s music video hair, but that dress was top-shelf.
  



• Meryl Streep should know better.



• This one's a little delicate: Busy Phillips' gown didn't work at all. Unless she's pregnant, in which case it makes perfect sense.
  



• Kate Beckinsale is a great beauty, but I wasn't feeling the boxy bodice of her white dress.



• Our usual reliable people (like Reese Witherspoon, Nicole Richie and Jessica Alba) looked reliably glam and relaxed.



• Poor Sarah Michelle Gellar was hoping for fresh and different and got... a tie-dyed dress that just didn't flatter.



• Katharine McPhee keeps showing up on best dressed lists, but I thought her look was beige at best.



• The custom Prada worked nicely on Zooey Deschanel, but who could see it behind that heavy cloak of hair?



• Bradley Cooper needs to shave but is undeniably delicious.
  



• Speaking of the fellas, Johnny Depp has officially bested Brad Pitt. Was he hotter all along? It's now abundantly clear.
  

Now tell me, what were your best and worst? And how excited are we for the Oscars?